


Take Our Picture!

by Tippytap



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, I suck at plot, M/M, Making Out, Wow, i am conveniently ignoring DADT, it dissolves almost immediately, possible overuse of italics, should I tag for language? Langauge.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21539665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tippytap/pseuds/Tippytap
Summary: Clay needs pictures. He has a plan. Jensen hates his plans.
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	Take Our Picture!

"This is ridiculous!"

Jensen sounds truly indignant.

"Of all the bone headed schemes you've come up with Clay, this is the worst!"

The plan that Jensen is so strenuously objecting to is this, Clay needs pictures of a certain building that they belive is being used as a storehouse for drugs and trafficked people.

To achieve this he has decide that Jensen and Cougar need to go undercover and pose for pictures, inconspicuously getting the building in the background.

The catch?

He believes that they'll be able to get better pictures if they pose as a couple.

"For fuck's sake Jensen."

Clay is starting to lose his patience, they've been going round and round with this for at least fifteen minutes.

"All you have to do is stand close to each other, use some sweet talk, MAYBE give him a little kiss on the cheek, and take the damned pictures! It's not that hard! Cougar isn't bitching."

Jensen glances over at Cougar, who gives an easy shrug.

_'What are ya gonna do?'_

Back to Clay.

"Well if it's so "easy." He says, making air quotes with his fingers, "Why don't you and Roque do it? Or, or Pooch?"

"Hey."

Pooch holds up his hands.

"The Pooch is married, remember?"

He waggles his left hand for emphasis.

"And he does not wish to have to explain this to Jolene. And as for those two, do you really think they could pass as gentle and loving for even five minutes? Cause I don't."

"Come on J" he says, giving their flustered techie a firm, but friendly shake,

"You know how important this is, so just shut up and get ready."

Jensen grimaces and rubs his hand repeatedly through his hair, making it spike.

"Ugh, fine. But!"

And here he levels a very stern finger at Clay and Roque.

"After the mission we get rid of every one of those photos, and never speak of this again or so help me, I will destroy your lives and you _know_ I can do it!"

"Alright Jensen, jeeze. Relax"

Clay is trying unsuccessfully to hid a smile, as he holds up a placating hand.

"We will destroy all evidence when it is no longer needed."

Roque snorts.

"Speak for yourself. A picture of Jensen and Cougs plain' kissy face? You can't buy better leverage"

He's laughing now.

"Oh Clay, look at 'im blush! He's all nervous about his big date."

That only makes Jensen's blush deeper.

"I am not! It's not- it's a mission. It's not a date, c'mon guys!"

Cougar gives him a quick up and down, clicking his tongue before he turns to leave the room.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Jensen sounds distressed.

"You're not just going to leave me alone with them are you?"

Cougar looks back over his shoulder "To get ready"

"What does that mean?"

Cougar doesn't answer, just winks and leaves the room.

Jensen's shoulders slump. _Fuck._

It's not that Jensen is opposed to being Cougar's boyfriend, quite the opposite actually. But he doesn't how well he'll be able to hid his very real attraction to Cougar, when he's only supposed to be *pretending* to have one.

He and Cougar have a great friendship, it really is the best ever. And he doesn't want to jeopardize that just because Cougar is (regrettably) straight. After all, it's not Cougar's fault he's the sexiest man in the world and that Jensen is ridiculously in love with him.

"Just be cool" Jensen says to himself, bouncing on his toes in front of the bathroom mirror.

"Stay cool, and don't say anything incriminating. If ya gotta talk, which come on me, you know I will, absolutely NO heartfelt speeches. No declarations of love. None of that. Facts, triva, and bizarre rituals, that's your safe zone. DO. NOT. LEAVE. THE ZONE."

He shoots finger guns at his reflection "Chill out buddy, you got this"

As soon as Jensen leaves the bathroom he realizes that (1) no, he absolutely does NOT got this, and (2) he is so very, very, fucked.

Because Cougar has just come out of their shared bedroom and he looks….

Fucking amazing.

Cougar is dressed in tight black jeans, black boots, a white t-shirt that hangs at the collarbone, and a black leather vest. He's pulled his hair back into a ponytail, and he's wearing eyeliner (and where had _that_ come from?).

Plus, The Hat. Always The Hat.

The Hat is going to kill Jensen someday.

Jensen hadn't really done much more than fix his hair and put on cologne.

And now he's just been standing there, and he knows he's been staring stupidly at Cougar for way too long because,

'Attention everyone! Jensen's brain has just left the building. I repeat, Jensen's brain has left the building.' 

His inner alarm is going crazy, and he needs to start talking, NOW.

He opens his mouth, but for once in his life, nothing comes out.

Tries again.

Shit.

Cougar, that beautiful rat bastard, is smirking at him.

Pooch ends up breaking the silence.

"Damn man. You clean up _nice_ "

Over to Jensen.

"What do you think- oh come on! You're not gonna wear that!?"

He's referring to Jensen's cargo shorts and navy blue cyclops smiley face t-shirt that says 'Have An Odd Day'.

Jensen is starting to sweat "Well I _was_ "

Pooch shakes his head in disgust "Cougar goes to all that trouble, and this is what you give him? Pitiful."

"He's right man." Roque speaks up "You're a terrible boyfriend."

Clay is laughing.

"Shut up!" Jensen snaps "And give us the damn camera."

"Alright, alright. Sorry."

Clay waves them over to the table, where maps and equipment are spread out. "Let's go over the plan."

As they make their way over, Cougar bumps his arm.

"You look good."

His voice is quiet and Jensen isn't _quite_ sure he heard that correctly.

"Oh, hey thanks. Wait, what? What did you say?"

But Cougar is already gone and giving Clay his full attention.

******************************************************************************

Now here they are, walking hand in hand down the road, Cougar practically _cuddling_ his arm.

As they pass someone (who they think is involved in the trafficking) Cougar presses a soft kiss to the back of Jensen's hand, and Jensen is very, very happy about that, but also he is about to die and he needs to distract himself RIGHT NOW, because otherwise he's just going the say the hell with it, and kiss Cougar full on the lips.

"So" he says, turning his head down to Cougar, and _WOW_ does he smell good. Like spices and leather, and….smoke?

(But _why?_ Cougar doesn't smoke, and he hasn't been hanging around Clay, but damned if it isn't effective. Jensen's pretty sure he's put some in his hair too, and wouldn't it just be so fucking nifty if he buried his face in Cougar's hair and stayed there all day?)

And now he's lost his train of thought, just fuckin' _rocketed_ off the rails, and Cougar is staring up at him quizzically.

" _¿_ _Qué?"_

"What?"

"You were saying something?" Cougar rolls his hand, indicating that he wishes for him to continue.

"Was I?" Jensen blinks "Oh, right" "Ummm, did you know that the reason they burned Joan of Arc was NOT because of her military prowess or heresy, as is popularly believed, but because she wore men's clothing?."

Cougar's face twitches "No, I didn't."

"Yep. Fifteenth century France did not appreciate cross dressing. Also-"

"Hey!" Roque cut in over their comms "Will you just shut up and take the pictures already?"

Cougar rolls his eyes at that, and makes such a petulant face that Jensen can't help but start laughing.

"Roger, over, and out!"

Three long suffering sighs echo through his earpiece.

They walk a little further and then Cougar stops to retrieve the camera from his canvas newsboys bag.

"Ready?" His eyes flick up to Jensen, who nods "Yup."

"Alright"

He puts his left arm around Jensen's waist, pressing close against his side. With his other hand he lifts the camera, acting as though he is trying to get just the right angle and lighting, while in reality getting a shot of the exit and the (really poorly disguised, but maybe that's the whole point, who knows? Not Jensen right now, that's for damn sure) undercover guards.

"Say cheese, _querido_ "

"What!?"

And then Cougar stretches up, kisses Jensen on the cheek, and takes the picture.

So that's how they continue, surreptitiously circling the building and taking photographs.

With Cougar constantly touching, kissing, and murmuring sweet things under his breath all the while.

And Jensen is in exquisite agony. Because when this is all over Cougar will go back to the way things were before and all Jensen will be left with are these memories, which will turn into phantoms to taunt him in the dark when he is alone.

"Alright" he says, speaking to the guys back in the van and walking a few paces ahead of Cougar.

"We've just finished, and our on our way in. You'd better be ready- SHIT!"

For as he rounded the corner, he's run smack dab into one of the guards.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" The man is big, he looks mean, and he's definitely pissed off.

"Oh, uh, well.."

Jensen's trademark wit is failing him, and he puts the blame fully Cougar and his sexy, mind-numbing abilities. Like anyone else would have been able to think up a cover story on the fly when they'd just had Cougar draped all over them.

"Jensen"

Clay's voice, urgent and tight "What's going on? Cougar?"

But Cougar is already moving.

"Excuse us." He says, slipping in close behind Jensen

"But would you mind taking our picture?"

And, why yes, that _is_ most definitely Cougar's hand on his ass.

"The fuck?" The man looks as confused as Jensen feels.

"A picture? Of me and _mi cariño?_ " And here he reaches into his bag, presumably to get their camera.

"...No" The man is reaching for his radio.

Cougar shrugs "Pity" and then cracks him the head with the small leather billy club he'd pulled out instead.

Turning to Jensen he says "Run!" and off they go.

They race down side streets and alleyways until they reach their van, bang open the back door, and jump inside. As soon as the close the door, Pooch turns the engine over and drives them out of the city.

Roque raises an eyebrow at them "You guys suck at stealth."

"Hey!" Jensen protests.

"Oh don't you start. Man, you ran right into that dude. It was pathetic."

Cougar gives him a dirty look.

"I was distracted-" Jensen begins.

"By Cougar?" Clay asks, chuckling.

"Noooo, not by Cougar. By our super serious spy mission. That's what."

"Mmm hmm"

"Shut up."

Cougar is leaned back in his seat, ankles crossed and hat tipped low.

There is a *ping* and Clay lets out a yelp.

"What was that!? Jensen!"

"What? I didn't do anything!"

"Something hit in the back of the head!"

"Well it wasn't me. And I am offended Sir, that you would even think such a thing."

Jensen crosses his arms for a good sulk and looks over to Cougar.

Who has a sneaky grin on his face.

When he sees that Jensen has noticed, he merely taps his lips with a quiet finger. Jensen grins wickedly and mimes locking his lips and throwing away the key.

Then, throughly vindicated, he settles in for the bumpy ride home.

*********************************************************************************

"How did you stay so calm through all that?" Jensen asks in their bedroom that night.

Clay wants everyone to get to sleep, because he plans to hit the storehouse early tomorrow, before they have time to mobilize and move out.

"You know… with the pretending?" He hates to ask, but at the same time he really wants to know. He'd been so jumpy, how had Cougar managed to stay so cool?

"It is easy"

"Yeah?" He says, feeling a sick pit in his stomach. Hearing Cougar say how little he cares (at least in _that_ way) is gonna hurt.

"Yes."

Cougar is moving closer in to him.

Now he has one hand on Jensen's hip, the other on the side of his neck, and his thumb is stroking Jensen's cheek.

"It is easy, because it is you. And I am not having to pretend."

He pulls Jensen down to him, his breath ghosting over Jensen's lips.

"You're not?" Jensen is trying really hard to concentrate, but with Cougar's hands all over him that is a very difficult thing, because all he wants to do is to keep on leaning into that touch, not to mention-

"No" Cougar is shaking his head slowly from side to side, giving him a bit of an Eskimo kiss.

Jensen shivers, swallows, licks his lips, and watches as Cougar's eyes track every one of his movements.

"Well, that's good! No, actually, that's great. Because I wasn't either. I mean I haven't been. Well I mean I _have_ , but just because I didn't want you to leave, because you're awesome and I like being around you. Really though."

He swallows.

" I've loved you for a long time. And I'm glad that you do too, because if we'd gotten this far and one of us _HAS_ been pretending? _THAT_ would be super embarrassing."

A pause

"You do care….don't you?"

Cougar presses their foreheads together and Jensen stops talking. "I do care. Very much. And now is not the time for doubts." 

His fingers stroke gently down Jensen's neck.

"Let me kiss you?"

"Oh yes definitely, start doing that. Please and thank you, yes."

Cougar kisses him then.

It's gentle and soft, but there is a heat and insistence behind it and Jensen parts his lips to encourage him. Which it does, and Cougar slips his tongue into Jensen's mouth.

It's nice. Very nice actually, and Jensen can't remember a time when he's been so happy to be kissing someone.

He brings his hands up to push into Cougar's hair. Gently, he tips Cougar's head back and begins to kiss down his neck. He takes his time with it, because he's been wanting to do that for a long time.

Cougar digs his fingers into Jensen's hips. And when Jensen starts to suck at his collarbone he groans, low and deep, hot breath puffing against Jensen's ear. It's a delicious sound, and one that he would very much like to hear again.

"Sweet _fuck!_ " he whispers vehemently, and Cougar laughs.

The entire time, Cougar has been steadily moving them back towards his bed.

He now feels it against the back of his knees, and falls backwards, hooking a leg behind Jensen's knee to bring him tumbling after. They hit the bed with a thump, making the horrible springs squeal horribly in protest.

Jensen buries his face against Cougar's chest and laughs. Cougar smiles, and runs a hand over the back of his head, before tipping his head back to kiss him again. Jensen moves up, hands and knees on the mattress on either side of Cougar, bracketing him in.

He's just moved one hand to push underneath Cougar's shirt, spreading his fingers against his warm skin, when Roque busts in the door.

"Hey guys, Clay says that- fuck!"

Jensen bolts up, but now he's sitting directly on Cougar hips, and that is…not better.

"For shit's sake Roque! Fucking knock!"

Cougar glares filthy at him "What."

"Nothing, nothing… Nevermind"

"Then why the hell did you come in here!?" Jensen demands.

"I was on my way to very possibly getting a nice, new hicky, you have now substantially lessened my chances, and I'm gettin' kinda pissed off about that!"

Roque is very quickly on his on way out.

"Aw jeez Jensen, nobody wants to know that! Seriously, fuck you guys."

"We were trying." Cougar states dryly, from underneath Jensen.

Roque is out the door now, letting it slam shut behind him. They can hear the rumble of the other's voices, and then Pooch's gleeful laughter. They vaguely think they can make out an "I told you so" from him, but they aren't certain.

Jensen is cackling with fiendish delight "Do you hear them Cougey baby?"

Cougar snorts at that.

"No? No good?"

Cougar shakes his head "No."

Jensen shrugs "Oh well, I'll think up something."

"Carlos"

"….Carlos"

He tries it on his tongue. It's strange, but nice. It feels secret, and special.

Like Jensen is special because he gets to use it.

"So, Carlos, were you serious or kidding, about what you said to Roque?"

Cougar reaches for Jensen's shirt, pulling him back down on top of him.

"Oh, you _were_ serious! Well that is fan-fucking-tastic my friend-" 

Cougar kisses him.

And Jensen doesn't say anything intelligible for a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Querido- dear
> 
> Mi cariño- my sweetie/honey


End file.
